Reason # 5,687,384 Why Condoms Are Good

When I first read this, my reaction was, “Oh, crap. Not again.” I immediately flashed back to the eighties, when AIDS was killing off gay men at a rate that was beyond Jerry Falwell’s wildest fantasies. AIDS is one reason that no person of good conscience can look back at Ronald Reagan’s presidency with charity or nostalgia: while it ran amuck through the gay community, Reagan wouldn’t even speak the word until halfway through his second term, much less bring its victims help or comfort through government funding.

But fortunately, this doesn’t look to be a replay of the 80s. Buried in the middle of this article is a single line that says that Lymphogranuloma venereum “can be cured with a three-week course of antibiotics.” (You couldn’t have said that six paragraphs ago?!?) Nevertheless, it’s still a good reason to remember to pack your condoms when you got a hot date. Symptoms of LGV include genital ulcers, swollen nymph glands, gastrointestinal bleeding, and inflammation of the rectum and colon.

In a word: ewwwww.

So to anyone who hasn’t picked up on the message after the last twenty years: condom first, then sinful debauchery.

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